America Invades Port Huron

-- A NEWS PARODY --

It's being widely reported the U.S. Military has invaded the small town of Port Huron, Michigan. An annual vacation destination for many, Port Huron is famous for being the boyhood home of Thomas Edison.

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The waterfront community's quiet was shattered early Monday when the U.S. Military descended on the town to conduct an exercise. Rumor quickly spread the exercise was intended to 'subdue' the local population.

Our 'What's Left of the News' correspondent, Migel Gonzales, was on the scene. He interviewed 3 eye-witnesses of the days' events. Migel filed this report:

Shortly after the events occurred in Port Huron, a well-known local hoodlum, Henry Sowhat, claimed he witnessed things first-hand. According to Henry, the military exercise didn't go quite as planned. "Downtown was almost totally demolished", he said, "It's like a scene out of Iraq, there are dozens of casualties. This is not America".

Another witness who was on the scene was a local drunk, Joe Sloppi. "It was like we were being invaded", he said. "I've never heard of anything like this ever happening in this country. Obama is ruining everything".

A self-proclaimed 'seamstress', who asked me to refer to her as Velvet, provided an even more chilling version of events. "They started rounding folks up, I couldn't believe it", Velvet said, as she began to cry. "My boyfriend Jason told me the soldiers pointed their guns at him, knocked him to the ground and threatened to shoot him if he told anyone. I think they hurt his bad leg".

When asked for comment, local police spokesman, Sgt. Alan Hyde, refused to discuss the witnesses claims. Now doesn't this sound like something that would happen in Russia? Or Cuba? Or North Korea?

Well that's because it is -- almost none of it is true.

Here's the rest of the story. The military did conduct an exercise in Pt. Huron yesterday. As a helicopter approached the vacant Sperry's building downtown, the brick facade of the building collapsed, destroying the front awning.

The bricks and awning were the only real casualties of the military exercise. And it wasn't a secret exercise either.

On a serious note; we've seen this kind of thing happen, over and over again now in America, but for real. The first person on the scene of the event tells an incredible tale, people are outraged...until the facts are ultimately revealed.

It's easy to take advantage of the fog of uncertainty that exists after any incident, because no one knows the truth yet. It's the most fertile ground for planting Propaganda! It's where myths like 'Hands up, don't shoot' grow as quick as weeds, becoming almost impossible to uproot -- regardless of the evidence.

So the next time you read a story that makes you feel like killing people or burning down your town, make sure you know the rest of the story first. Hoodlums, drunks and criminals are not reliable witnesses but they're often the first ones on the scene.

P.S. - After the dust settles from the invasion, make sure to visit Port Huron. It's beautiful this time of year!

-- Copyright 2015 -- What's Left of The News, Corp. (A news parody)

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